We all have questions that seem to follow us throughout life:
Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose?
And whether we realize it or not, the way we answer those questions shapes the way we live. The truth is, you were not randomly dropped into this world and left to figure things out on your own. You were known before you were born. You were loved before you could accomplish anything. And you were chosen on purpose. You are here on purpose, by a purpose God. That is not simply a nice thing to say when we need encouragement. It is a spiritual reality. But sometimes we struggle to believe it. We look at our circumstances, our disappointments, our unanswered prayers, or the parts of our lives that don’t make sense, and we wonder if God really has a plan. We may even find ourselves thinking, “God, this isn’t how I would have written it.” And that’s exactly the point.
Purpose Doesn’t Come From Performance
One of the most important truths we can understand is this:
Purpose doesn’t emerge from performance. It comes from identity.
Your purpose isn’t determined by how successful you are, how impressive you look, or how well you have everything figured out. Your purpose begins with who God created you to be. Here is my own story as an example.
Growing up in Athens, Texas, I struggled with stuttering and reading. My mother even made the difficult decision to have me repeat second grade. That decision introduced me to a woman named Alice, affectionately known as “Miss A,” who worked in my school cafeteria. Miss A sat with me. She gave me corn dogs and tater tots. More importantly, she spoke words over my life that I desperately needed to hear. She told me:
“Jeff Ponder, you were born to lead. You’re a Moses. God’s going to do great things in your life.”
I didn’t fully understand those words at the time. But God did.
At 10 years old, I gave my life to Christ. Throughout my teenage years, God continued placing people in my life who would influence my faith and my future - youth leaders, coaches, mentors, friends, and faithful people who stepped into my life at exactly the right moments.
Then came college. I had my own plans. I wanted to attend Baylor University and play baseball. But when that opportunity fell through, I suddenly found myself without a college scholarship. Then the phone rang. A baseball coach from East Texas Baptist University offered me a full scholarship, one he had written weeks earlier because he believed I belonged at his university. I didn’t see it coming. But God did.
God Has a Pencil, Too
Eventually, God called me into full-time ministry. My response? “God, I can’t do this.”
One of the biggest reasons was my stuttering. How could God possibly use someone who struggled to speak? But God gave me Jeremiah 1, where God tells Jeremiah not to say he is only a child and promises to put His words in Jeremiah’s mouth. I finally surrendered and said, essentially: “God, I’ll do whatever You want me to do.”
But surrendering to God’s calling didn’t mean I stopped trying to write my own story. I still had plans. After college, I decided to help God out a little. I had ideas about where I would live, what my future would look like, how many children I would have, what they would be like, and, of course, I had some very specific ideas about finding a wife.
I had his pencil. I was writing away. And God essentially said, “That’s not your pencil.”
Think about that. We often do the same thing. We love God. We worship God. We trust God, or at least we want to trust Him, but then we hand Him our list:
God, I want this job.
God, I want this relationship.
God, I want to live here.
God, I want this for my children.
God, I want this by this age.
God, I want You to do it this way.
We may not realize it, but we’re trying to take the pencil out of God’s hand.
Trust the Story You Can’t See Yet
Eventually, I met Melissa. Even that story didn’t unfold according to my original plan. I saw her picture at a family’s home and immediately thought, “I need to meet her.” Then she walked through the door...with her fiancé.
Jeff’s response? “Yay, God.”
And then: “Boo, God.”
But God wasn’t finished writing. After circumstances changed, Melissa and I began dating.
Looking back, I can see how God was writing a story that I never could have written myself. The same thing happened with ministry. I experienced painful moments, unexpected circumstances, and places I never imagined I would live or serve. At one point, God eventually led me to Amarillo, Texas, somewhere I never thought I would end up. And then, in 2007, I became the pastor of a small church in Bushland with just 18 people. God had been writing the story all along. And today, I can look back and see what I couldn’t see then. God’s story was better.
Your Pencil Is Not God’s Pencil
Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us:
“My ways are not your ways,” declares the Lord. “My thoughts are higher than your thoughts.”
God sees what we cannot see. He knows what we don’t know. He understands how every relationship, disappointment, delay, opportunity, loss, and unexpected turn fits into a story much bigger than the moment we’re currently experiencing. That’s why we have to learn to trust what He has written.
Jeremiah 33:2-3 says:
“This is what the Lord says, he who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it - the Lord is his name: ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’”
God invites us to call on Him. He invites us to trust Him. He invites us to discover what He is doing even when we don’t understand it yet.
Stop Fighting the Story
Sometimes our greatest frustration with God isn’t that He isn’t working. It’s that He isn’t working according to our timeline. We think something should have happened already. We think God should have done it differently. We wonder why we had to experience certain pain. We question why we ended up in a particular place. And when God doesn’t follow our plan, we can become disappointed, frustrated, or even angry with Him. Eventually, that disappointment can become a hard heart. And when our hearts become hard toward God, we stop reading what He has written.
We stop opening His Word.
We stop listening.
We stop worshiping.
We stop trusting.
But we’re only hurting ourselves. Because what God has for us is greater than anything we could think or imagine. His timing is perfect. His ways are perfect. His story is better.
Don’t Try to Write Your Children’s Story
This truth isn’t just for us personally. It also applies to how we parent. As parents, we love our children deeply. We want the best for them. We want to protect them from pain and help them succeed. But sometimes, without realizing it, we pick up the pencil.
We begin trying to write their story for them. We try to control circumstances. We manipulate opportunities. We push them toward the future we think they should have. Not because we’re bad parents. Because we love them.
But even our love cannot compare to God’s love for our children. You cannot outwrite what God has already written for your child’s life. Our job isn’t to write their story. Our job is to trust God with their story.
James 4:8 gives us a simple invitation: “Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.” God doesn’t need to be convinced to love you. He doesn’t need you to earn His attention. He invites you to come close. He wants you.
A Reminder From a Cafeteria
Years after Miss A spoke those words over my life, I learned that she had passed away. As a high school freshman, I insisted on attending her funeral. While I was there, I encountered an older man I had never met before, Miss A’s husband.
The man looked at me and said, “You’re Jeff.”
I said, "Yes, sir."
Then the man told me that Miss A had instructed him to tell me something when I came to her funeral:
“God’s going to do great things through you. You were born Moses. You’re born to lead.”
My mother was with me that day. On the drive home, she told me something she had carried for years. She had worried that holding me back in school had hurt me. But she also knew God had something for my future. That moment at the funeral became confirmation. I had been exactly where I needed to be. God had been watching over me all along. And perhaps most remarkably, God had used a woman in a school cafeteria to speak words over a little boy that would echo throughout his life.
Put Down Your Pencil
Maybe today you need to put down your pencil.
Maybe you’ve been telling God exactly what you want Him to do.
Maybe you’ve been frustrated because His timing doesn’t match yours.
Maybe you’re disappointed with where you are.
Maybe you’re questioning why certain things happened.
Maybe you’ve even become angry with God because the story isn’t unfolding the way you thought it would.
If that’s you, hear this:
You don’t have to understand the whole story to trust the Author.
God knows what He is doing.
You are not forgotten.
You are not accidental.
You are not without purpose.
You are chosen.
You are loved.
And the story God is writing with your life is one you could never write better yourself.
So today, instead of asking,
“God, will You do what I want You to do?”
try asking:
“God, what do You want me to do?”
“What’s written on me?”
“Where are You leading me?”
“What are You inviting me into?”
Put down your pencil.
Open your hands.
Draw near to God.
And trust the story He is writing.
You are called. And the One who called you knows exactly where your story is going.